The Silver Bullet

where is the miracle? the slander of advice that sank with the ship that
once swam, with the currents; and now
I'm nervous
waiting
in line for service- waiting,
for answers. And if it takes me all year,
I need something to take away the
fear that nailed me to the wall, blood
dripping

from my hands

for all to see catch and fall
and I see where the gun is pointed and I lean back and I'm disappointed.
I see where the gun is pointed and I lean back
and
I'm
Disappointed.
I'm the host of categories full of ghosts, and
no one wonders why I miss the coast, how I saw
the sunset in my lover's eyes and when she looked at me I couldn't hide my
surprise
at the blue sky Holiday and the hotel. She whispers she sighs.
Cigarettes on her breath and I'm still up for the test,
slowly unraveling the mess, the process slow; with my regret only
because in your
silhouette
I see how easy it is to forget with one step out the
door where guys like me are
dime-a-dozen but I'm lucky #13- one more, I swear
I'll scream.
I see where the gun is pointed and I lean back and I'm disappointed.
I see where
the gun is
pointed and I lean
back and I'm disappointed.
Struggling for each breath of
a
i
r
,
I wonder if it's fair to include myself
in conversations in life
and love because if I've never been in love then I've just been
singing songs to the moon of misery waiting; to be someone new; with someone new;
in a place where I'm less cruel.
I'm the master of making excuses.
Useless-
I searched for vanity to fill my other half, instead I got wrath,
and maybe with a little time, I can say goodbye to the night and say
hello to the light-
if the disease
in
me
permits
me.
I see where the gun is pointed and I lean back and I'm disappointed.
I see where the
gun
is pointed and I lean back and I'm disappointed.
I bought roses at the mall just to watch
the petals
f
a
l
l
so i can see behind the beauty; see the pain within us all.
You say I need help;
I say I need to get out of self.
You say I need to stop being selfish;
I say only God can grant that wish.
I see where the gun is pointed and I lean back and I'm disappointed.
I
see where the
gun
is pointed and
I'm
Disappointed.