Conclusion to My Break

It's strange, I sit here again in my simple apartment, back in San Antonio, and I think about my Thanksgiving break. This being my first real break in sobriety. You could contend that last year was my first break, but I would argue that I was living in a half-way house, and I was in Kerrville, and spent it only with my father and his girlfriend. This time, I went full fling, back home to College Station, spent five days with family and friends. I saw football games (how the Aggies won, I don't know- miracle by God?), a ring dunking (Aggie tradition), my friend Shaun and Leah's baby, a Lambo Diablo, and had a great dinner at the bassist of my father's band's house. In all this time, the thought of drink and drug never crossed my mind. The miracle of this was, of course, that I know I could've used, and no one in San Antonio would've been the wiser.

An interesting experience happened on my last day there. I went to Revolutions, a real hip bar that I liked going to back in the day. My friend Felix and I were to meet up with our friend Scott Youngblood, someone I haven't seen in years. As I arrived, the band that was playing was a local band called Bulletproof Brown, which I've seen many times. They are a phenomenal band of talented musicians, but what makes them real special to me is their lead guitarist- David "Bagel" Adams. I've known Bagel since I was in seventh grade. He's a townie just like me. The thing is, Bagel is in the program like me (don't worry, I know he wouldn't care if I broke his anonymity). When I was living in my half-way house in Kerrville, and I was about six months sober, he came up there, without knowing that I was living in Kerrville, to try to get sober. The thing was, about five months prior to me getting sober, he went to rehab in Hunt, Texas, which is right outside of Kerrville. So, he actually knew people that lived in Kerrville- that's why he came up there to get sober. When I ran into him, I learned he was sleeping in his car, so I let him sleep on my couch in my half-way house. He stayed there about a couple of weeks before some drama happened and he had to come back to College Station.

About a month later, I came to College Station to do my ninth step (making amends), and I saw him. He had relapsed, and it was sad. I was happy to know he was okay, but sad to know that he relapsed. Anyway, as I walked inside Revolutions, the band was between songs so immediately I walked to the front of the stage and he saw me and hugged me. Then, he asked me if I was still sober, and I said yes, I have 16 months. He smiled, and then with great pride, he told me he just got six months. I looked at him, and you know, he looked so happy and different, I knew it to be true (and the fact that he was drinking from a water bottle the whole night, and that his younger brother told me the same story was a comfort, too). During their break, we talked a little bit more, and it was good to know that he was sober.

It's funny to think about all that, because at the ring dunking, I saw a whole bunch of people I went to high school that haven't seen me in a long time. The thing about high school for me was that I did really well in high school, so me being behind in my class, and a drug addict, well, I'm always curious as to what other people think- even though, honestly, I doubt people think much about it all, if any. But, people walked up to me, and hugged me and asked me how I was doing. Most of them heard I went to rehab and got sober, and said that they were happy I was finally sober (I've tried before). It was sort of touching.

I'm kind of hungry, so I'm going to end with this. Another funny thing that happened at Revolution's was that I ended up talking to this girl, and in the midst of this conversation, I learned that we had a mutual friend, Megan Ochoa. Megan and I used to jam a lot together on the guitar either just for fun, or on stage (we once played a competition together at the Groove). When I told this girl my name, she gives me this weird look and then says she's heard all about me and that Megan plays a song of mine at every single one of my shows. I wrote a song called "Beauty and the Morning After" that I remember Megan loving, and we recorded it once in Dallas with her singing and playing the drums. Well, this girl told me that Megan plays that song every show and dedicates it to me. Then, she asked me why I left their lives. I told her I didn't leave their life, I had to take care of mine. But, I haven't seen Megan in almost a year and a half. I do miss her a whole bunch. So, today, I went to her myspace page, and there's a video of her playing my song live at Revolution's. Watching it, I almost cried.

In the end, I want to say, I had a great Thanksgiving. I needed it a lot. I was getting stressed and depressed here in San Antonio. I missed my friends and my home. But, I'm somewhat growing fond of the 210. As I drove into town, I felt myself getting giddy. Is this a new stage in my development?

I don't really know. What I do know is that I'm hungry.